The Magic of Forgiveness

Here’s a good step towards freedom

Enjoy!

How To Heal The Pain Caused By Others
By Mark Myhre, author of
“The Magic Of Forgiveness”

What happens when you’ve been wronged by another and you
want to move on? 
 
How do you let it go – get on with your life – and make
sure it doesn’t happen again?
 
The short answer is that you forgive yourself for attracting
them into your life – so you don’t have to continue to carry
the burden around and so that you *don’t repeat the same
experience with another person.*
 
You forgive yourself for ALLOWING it to happen – not for
CAUSING it to happen.
 
Right now you may be in some sort of a mental prison. There
may be a lot of resentment and other similar feelings. And
what you’re feeling now – the bitterness, the resentment,
the anger, the hurt; WILL influence your future relationships.
 
Bitterness only leads to more bitterness.  Hurt leads to
more hurt.
 
Forgiveness is a way to clear out those old feelings from
the past so you will be better able to believe in yourself
and trust yourself. Not to mention you will be wiser and
more perceptive.
 
But are you responsible for what they did?
 
No, absolutely not. You don’t forgive yourself to make them
‘not guilty’. You created your reality and they created
theirs.
 
And the realities overlapped.
 
A cheater is basically that way before you meet them.
 
A betrayer is a betrayer before they come into your life.
 
The question is – why did I attract someone like this into
my life?
 
Of course you didn’t KNOW they would cheat or betray you
when you first met them. But then, maybe there were little
hints and clues you ignored. I don’t know.
 
The point is, you CHOSE to allow them into your life. You
allowed it to happen.
 
That ‘allowing’ is your responsibility; something you CAN
forgive yourself for.
 
The value of forgiving yourself is -
 
first of all, it’s empowering to accept responsibility for
YOUR contribution. Yes, I understand you were wronged. They
engaged in hurtful behavior that was unjustified.
 
By forgiving yourself, you don’t say their behavior was
acceptable. On some level, they must still ‘pay’ for what
they did. But that’s not your business.
 
(I understand many try to make it their business!)
 
But you would be much more productive by dealing with YOUR
contribution to these events. And not worrying about their
contribution.
 
“They’ll get theirs.”
 
But look at the damage it does to YOU by not forgiving
yourself.
 
Maybe you don’t believe in yourself anymore.
 
Maybe you don’t trust yourself to make good decisions.
 
Maybe your self-confidence is lacking.
 
Maybe you’re carrying around a ton of pain.
 
And I would guess many other problems as well have come up
because you’ve been wronged.
 
Forgiving yourself can heal the damage they caused.
 
Also, you don’t let someone ‘off the hook’ by forgiving
yourself for what they did.
 
YOU LET *YOU* OFF THE HOOK BY FORGIVING YOURSELF.
 
Sorry to shout, but I want to make that point clear. By
forgiving yourself, you empower yourself.  You free yourself
from your own private prison of pain.
 
Forgiveness is a strength; it empowers you.
 
By not forgiving yourself, you are not honoring or
respecting yourself. You’re saying you don’t matter.
 
Forgiveness creates freedom. Forgiveness is liberating.
Forgiveness is a positive, pro-active decision. It’s a
deliberate choice from a position of power and
responsibility.
 
It’s an act of character and integrity. It takes courage.
I admit it’s not easy to be kicked by someone and then
forgive YOURSELF for being kicked. Because, “It’s not me -
I didn’t do this! It’s THEM!! They’re the bad ones!”
 
But finding your own contribution to being kicked is like
finding a foothold to greater power and greater strength.
You will become ‘more’ if you forgive yourself for being
wronged.
 
It takes enormous courage to let go of the blame. So often
we seek our strength in blame. We anchor to it. And the
thing is, we really are justified to blame!
 
We really WERE wronged. Nobody would deny that. It’s obvious.
 
But what I’m saying is to go beyond the obvious. If blame
really did solve problems, what a wonderful world this
would be!
 
We wouldn’t be fighting in the Middle East.
 
New Orleans would be a thriving regenerated city.
 
Congress and the president would get along, and start doing
something good for a change.
 
But blame doesn’t solve problems. In fact, it locks those
problems in place.
 
The trap is, you really are justified in blaming. But if
you do, it keeps those painful feelings in place. You can’t
grow and stretch and reach for more in life when you’re
blaming.
 
It’s like putting your feelings in the freezer. And then
you have to tote that freezer around with you every where
you go.
 
Blame is like being seduced by a beautiful woman with a
hidden agenda. You think she really does like you when all
she wants is your money.
 
If you know her game, you can easily resist. If you turn
a blind eye, you’ll get taken.
 
You think blame is your friend, but really all it wants is
your power. You must give up your power to blame.
 
I know it doesn’t seem that way, because we always get a
cheap hit of power when we blame. But it never lasts.
 
It’s like spending on credit. There’s no problem until the
payment comes due!
 
But to me, the biggest benefit of forgiving myself for
being wronged by another is that it helps to ensure that
it doesn’t happen again. “I’ve suffered enough. I don’t
want to go through the same situation again.”
 
But if I don’t forgive, then most likely I WILL repeat the
same mistakes again. Or else, I’ll try not to love anyone
else for the rest of my life. Which is almost impossible.
 
More likely, since I haven’t explored the reasons WHY I
created a hurtful person into my life, I’ll create another
hurtful person into my life.
 
Then I’ll have to go through the same crap again.
 
Just thinking about that is depressing!
 
You want to live a better life, not repeat the pain of
the past.
 
Forgiveness helps to make things better. So next time,
you’ll have a better chance of finding someone who’ll treat
you with respect.

Because you respected yourself enough to forgive YOURSELF
for what THEY did.

You forgave yourself for YOUR contribution; because you
played a part in what happened.
 
You are not a spectator in your life.
 
You’re not a helpless victim.
 
You created what happened.
 
Not by causing, but by allowing.
 
You allowed another to hurt you.
 
Now, you will turn it into something good by changing
yourself.
 
And the way to change is by recognizing what happened,
feeling the impact of what happened, and forgiving yourself
for why you let it happen in your life.
 
And later, if you choose to forgive them as well, that’s
great.  But always forgive yourself first – as an
acknowledgment to yourself that YOU are in charge of your
life – not them.

Why didn’t they go ruin someone else’s life instead of
trying to ruin yours? You may never know.
 
But the fact is, you let them in, they betrayed you, and
now you’re left to pick up the pieces.
 
Okay, you will.
 
You’ll be a winner. You’ll take their sucker punch to the
gut, and you’ll become a better person. Not a bitter,
beaten loser. You’ll take the pain they tried to dump on
you and use it to become strong and powerful.
 
You’ll find the good in their act of wrongness.
 
While they will in all likelihood continue to be a
punishing person.
 
Maybe someday you’ll forgive them for their misdeeds, but
for now you’re ready to grow and heal and move on.
 
Remember the old saying -
 
Living Well Is The Best Revenge!
 
Forgiveness can be that first step to living well.
 
It can be the greatest gift you can give yourself.
 
Here’s how I do it -
 

http://magicmind.forgiveme.hop.clickbank.net/

All the best,
 
Mark
 
Brought to you by
Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard